A codependent relationship is a one-sided relationship in which one person takes care of the other. Codependent relationships are common among persons who battle drug addiction. In most cases, one partner will care after the other to the extent of aiding the other’s unhealthy habits. The caregiver is typically reared in a family with an addicted parent and learns to placate that parent to make life easy for herself and her siblings. This person is typically the oldest child, and this may continue in her later life relationships.
Codependency harms both spouses. It allows one partner to become more addicted while forcing the other to sacrifice her wants and needs to care for the other
The following are some indicators that a relationship is on the verge of codependence.
Looking after others in a codependent relationship
When you feel obligated to take care of everyone all of the time, this is a major sign of codependency. This generally starts in childhood, when the caregiver realizes that failing to match a parent’s expectations can have severe consequences. As a result, you may feel compelled to care for others, particularly a husband, out of fear of something terrible happening if you do not. Most people can survive on their own, and the anxiety that things will go wrong if you don’t take care of them is a sign of codependency.
Dependence
No doubt, dependence plays a role in codependency. Each individual needs the other in some way. One individual needs financial support since addiction or other issues have restricted her autonomy. Taking care of someone gives that individual validation and a sense of purpose. It is a compromise in certain ways, but it also limits both persons involved.
People Pleasing
It’s natural to want others to like you, and we all want our loved ones to be happy, but there’s a distinction to be made between these instincts and always trying to please others. People pleasers frequently believe they have no choice except to keep others pleased. They dislike saying no, especially when pleasing others conflicts with their own goals and needs.
Low Self-Esteem
In most codependent relationships, neither partner has a high sense of self-worth. To experience a sense of purpose, one person must have the approval of the other or be of service to the other. The other person has low self-esteem as a result of needing to rely on someone else to meet material needs and receiving acceptance from that person. Because they are afraid the other person may go, the dependent person is typically bossy.
Why Do Codependents Always Choose the Wrong Partner?
In a good partnership, two adults work together to create something bigger. To learn together. To mature, establish a family, and have fun. Yet, this is not the case when one of the couples is codependent.
What is codependency, and how can you tell if you have it?
They believe that they require a connection to feeling useful and happy
Caring for others gives codependents a lot of self-esteem and self-respect. In this sense, they are unhappy if they do not have connections with others. They have issues with being single, alone, and happy, and would rather take a bad relationship or stay in one than feel useless, abandoned, and alone.
While codependents may not have it easy, they can begin to adjust their ideas and recover to find healthy companions. You attract what you put out and what you are searching for, and if you are continually wanting to re-create the unhealthy relationships of the past that’s all you’re going to get.
Relationship Anxiety
As you would think, any of these elements can put a strain on a relationship. Problems are unavoidable when people are unable to communicate or respect limits. The caregiver frequently feels stressed about doing everything correctly, while the dependent person frequently feels apprehensive about being abandoned by the caregiver. Both are frightened of being alone, yet neither is happy. There may not be many disagreements since one spouse is usually dedicated to making the other happy, but both are likely to be stressed.
Going to counseling and learning about healthy relationships can help codependents recuperate, allowing them to approach dating and relationships in a more healthy and directed way. They will learn that two individuals may care for themselves while simultaneously caring for each other.
